...xmas week, ~1993: one xmas tail

[iamjanco]

it was a night before xmas,,,

 

somebody @Fluxmavenbrought up an interesting tidbit over on discord that I opted to expound upon, something or other about 'not being drunk enough for XXXtremeHW talk about girls but I do have a few good strip club stories from back in the days.'

 

 

wishing everyone a fine set of holidays over the next few weeks. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited December 11, 2022 by iamjanco
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[Fluxmaven]

A lot of my old stories rely on state dependent memory. So, due to the lack of drugs and/or alcohol I'm not not going to dive into much of those. In the spirit of being a weirdo, I did just dig out my old strip club veteran hat and a PBR. 

When I was maybe a sophomore in high school I dated a girl for a couple weeks. She got jealous of a one of my female friends (It was genuinely a platonic friendship) and dumped me. We did get back together briefly but it didn't work out. 

Fast forward a few years and she hits me up out of the blue. Says I should come see her at work. Turns out she had become a stripper. At that point in time being the frugal man I was, I had only partaken in such nightlife once or twice. 

 

Turns out it's a lot more fun when you get the VIP experience. AKA no cover charge, free drinks, free lap dances from all the other strippers that are her friends. 

Eventually my friends and I go from hanging out with all the strippers at the club, to hanging out with them at Miss Molly the ecstasy queen's house... I'll leave the rest up to imagination. 

[iamjanco]

4 hours ago, Fluxmaven said:

A lot of my old stories rely on state dependent memory.

 

Interesting. Drug induced 'flashbacks.'

 

 

[Avacado]

15 hours ago, Fluxmaven said:

A lot of my old stories rely on state dependent memory. So, due to the lack of drugs and/or alcohol I'm not not going to dive into much of those. In the spirit of being a weirdo, I did just dig out my old strip club veteran hat and a PBR. 

When I was maybe a sophomore in high school I dated a girl for a couple weeks. She got jealous of a one of my female friends (It was genuinely a platonic friendship) and dumped me. We did get back together briefly but it didn't work out. 

Fast forward a few years and she hits me up out of the blue. Says I should come see her at work. Turns out she had become a stripper. At that point in time being the frugal man I was, I had only partaken in such nightlife once or twice. 

 

Turns out it's a lot more fun when you get the VIP experience. AKA no cover charge, free drinks, free lap dances from all the other strippers that are her friends. 

Eventually my friends and I go from hanging out with all the strippers at the club, to hanging out with them at Miss Molly the ecstasy queen's house... I'll leave the rest up to imagination. 

Don't think I didn't notice the T. Pain in the background +1. 

 

No shocker here, but as a military man, there have been some wild nights in the club before. Still, my most memorable experiences come from my time as a security guard at club "Liv" in Miami. A few years after leaving the service I found myself working security at the Fontaine Bleau on North Beach. Specifically the hottest night spot in town (Club Liv). Needless to say there were MANY working girls that frequented the club and being trespassed for suspected prostitution was an easy way to end client availability. The girls would get really friendly with the security guards both in hopes to NOT get trespassed and also for some protection while they were working. Many a 7 am end of shift ended at ihop for pancakes with these ladies of the night. My first experience with coke came at the end of a 4 inch fake finger nail of one of them as well. I knew I was wrong, but they sure did make you feel like a king when they knew your name and gave you those perfume soaked hugs. 

 

 

Edited December 12, 2022 by Avacado

[iamjanco]

2 hours ago, Avacado said:

My first experience with coke came at the end of a 4 inch fake finger nail of one of them as well. I knew I was wrong, but they sure did make you feel like a king when they knew your name and gave you those perfume soaked hugs. 

 

Your first experience with coke?

 

(things that make me go hmmm...)

[Avacado]

8 minutes ago, iamjanco said:

 

Your first experience with coke?

 

(things that make me go hmmm...)

Ha! Yea, first and last. 

[Fluxmaven]

5 hours ago, Avacado said:

Don't think I didn't notice the T. Pain in the background +1. 

Glad someone noticed

Also glad it was the first thing that came up when I searched for "stripper song" because I couldn't remember the name and figured I might get a lot of random results